Aquatica-Boy Discovered and Clubbed Repeatedly!
POINT BARROW, ALASKA - Poachers in the Arctic Circle were stunned when they found a wounded humanoid creature in their catch.
“We was just looking for pelts," said one of the cold-weather hunters who refused to identify himself, "swinging at every cute furry thing we seen. Then when I looks down at my catch, I sees two human eyes starin’ back at me. So I hits him again." The half-human, half-amphibious creature, dubbed "Aquatica-boy" by the startled poachers, was covered in a thick furry coat, with webbing between his tiny fingers and toes, and gills along his cheeks and neck. "I can only hypothesize that he and his semi-aquatic ilk have been living under the frozen ice cap, unseen by human eyes until now," said marine biologist Dr. Cy Cintillicious at the Quebec Institute for Oceanic Anomalies. "We're very fortunate that those poachers were there to club him." "I was gonna mount the little guy – not in no sexual way or anything – just over my fireplace or somethin’," the unidentified poacher said, “but that furry sumvabitch threw himself at me, knockin’ us both into the drink." "I nearly froze to death 'fore the other fellahs fished me out – with that underwater urchin tittering at me as it swam away." "Watch out, Waterboy," he added, "'Cause there's lotsa rich, old broads who'd pay big bucks to wear you 'round their necks. And I'm a’comin' for ya." |