BABIES ARE USELESS
Have you ever seen a baby Squirming out of some fat lady And you wonder what the fuss is all about? It looks like a pile of jelly. Kind of noisy. Kind of smelly. Well there's one thing I can say without a doubt: Babies are useless. Completely super-fluss. They contribute nothing to society. Babies are leeches With nothing to teach us But how to eat and burp and poop and pee. The whining little nippers Can't even fetch your slippers And god forbid they try to use a knife. They can't cook or clean. Or even read a magazine And they can't hold a job to save their life. Why put on the planet A beast devoid of talent Whose survival depends totally on others? They'll steal your last dime And take up all your time And turn your lovely wives into their mothers! The world is too darn full Of a species for whom drool Is their ultimate and final contribution. I demand we have a ban On all children under ten And we write it in the U.S. Constitution! |