Well, now that the holidays are over, it’s time for that dreaded task of sending thank you letters. But thanks to new-fangled AI NFT LMFAO technology, you can haphazardly enter a few keystrokes and your computer-generated Thank You card is ready to send without the least bit of time, thought, or genuine sentiment.
Dear a) Friend/Relative/Acquaintance
b) Sweet Loved One Who I Cherish
c) Co-worker who drew my name for Secret Santa
d) Satan
I just wanted to drop you a) a letter
b) a personal message of love
c) like a hot potato
d) off at the Piggly Wiggly
To say thank you for a) the holiday keepsake (I love potpourri AND David Hasselhoff)
c) Such a tempting buy-now pay-later furniture offer.
d) Dropping me off your holiday list altogether.
e) Fruitcake.
It will come in handy a) When I use it for its appropriate purpose.
b) On dozens of occasions and I’ll always think of you, Sugarlumps.
c) In hell. See you there.
d) When cleaning my dog of worms.
A holiday gesture like this could only come from a:
a) Friend / acquaintance who really/sort of knows me.
b) True Saint with a capital “S.”
c) Cheap tart who turns tricks to buy smack, crack, and the Knack.
d) Fruitcake.
In regards to my gift to you, well, it’s
a) In the mail.
b) Sure to enhance your marital consummation.
c) Time consuming, but I engraved the suppositories myself.
d) Fruitcake.
Please, if you’re ever in town
a) You must stay with us, no we insist, we won’t hear of it, no bother, consider it done.
b) Look us up. Maybe even call. We do screen calls so don’t hesitate to leave a message.
c) Keep us in your thoughts. Hopes and prayers!
d) Refrain from picking your pits ‘til you go back to that backwards hick state you crawled out of.
In fact, let’s make plans now. Please come by
a) For New Years.
b) During Skin Shedding Season.
c) When hell freezes over you cheap sumvabitch.
d) Fruitcake.
Well, I’ve got to cut this letter short,
a) Work beckons.
b) The twins are teething.
c) I have live bees in my breasts.
d) It is not I who am mad. It is I who am crazy.
a) Sincerely and with warmest regards,
b) Love always with hearts and chrysanthemums,
c) Burn in hell,
d) Fruitcake,
_______________________
YOUR NAME HERE
Dear a) Friend/Relative/Acquaintance
b) Sweet Loved One Who I Cherish
c) Co-worker who drew my name for Secret Santa
d) Satan
I just wanted to drop you a) a letter
b) a personal message of love
c) like a hot potato
d) off at the Piggly Wiggly
To say thank you for a) the holiday keepsake (I love potpourri AND David Hasselhoff)
c) Such a tempting buy-now pay-later furniture offer.
d) Dropping me off your holiday list altogether.
e) Fruitcake.
It will come in handy a) When I use it for its appropriate purpose.
b) On dozens of occasions and I’ll always think of you, Sugarlumps.
c) In hell. See you there.
d) When cleaning my dog of worms.
A holiday gesture like this could only come from a:
a) Friend / acquaintance who really/sort of knows me.
b) True Saint with a capital “S.”
c) Cheap tart who turns tricks to buy smack, crack, and the Knack.
d) Fruitcake.
In regards to my gift to you, well, it’s
a) In the mail.
b) Sure to enhance your marital consummation.
c) Time consuming, but I engraved the suppositories myself.
d) Fruitcake.
Please, if you’re ever in town
a) You must stay with us, no we insist, we won’t hear of it, no bother, consider it done.
b) Look us up. Maybe even call. We do screen calls so don’t hesitate to leave a message.
c) Keep us in your thoughts. Hopes and prayers!
d) Refrain from picking your pits ‘til you go back to that backwards hick state you crawled out of.
In fact, let’s make plans now. Please come by
a) For New Years.
b) During Skin Shedding Season.
c) When hell freezes over you cheap sumvabitch.
d) Fruitcake.
Well, I’ve got to cut this letter short,
a) Work beckons.
b) The twins are teething.
c) I have live bees in my breasts.
d) It is not I who am mad. It is I who am crazy.
a) Sincerely and with warmest regards,
b) Love always with hearts and chrysanthemums,
c) Burn in hell,
d) Fruitcake,
_______________________
YOUR NAME HERE