A DOZEN THINGS YOU CAN SAY TO YOUR BREAKFAST CEREAL
THAT YOU CAN’T SAY TO MOTHER THERESA
You're cold and soggy and you clog up my sink.
If someone slapped an athlete on you, it would catch people’s eyes and they might even grab you for themselves.
Your box is so colorful. And it has its own anthropomorphized mascot!
I like that you have a hole in the middle but would it kill you to put on a little frosting?
Most of the others come in a box, so why do you come in a bag?
You’re dry and flavorless and adding raisins doesn’t help.
I know you’re enlarged to show texture, but damn girl. Family Size much?
Can I see your fruity pebbles?
I’m so glad you come in several flavors.
Can I play the game on your back with my little brother?
If I’m not careful, you sometimes cut up the roof of my mouth.
I want you inside me.
If someone slapped an athlete on you, it would catch people’s eyes and they might even grab you for themselves.
Your box is so colorful. And it has its own anthropomorphized mascot!
I like that you have a hole in the middle but would it kill you to put on a little frosting?
Most of the others come in a box, so why do you come in a bag?
You’re dry and flavorless and adding raisins doesn’t help.
I know you’re enlarged to show texture, but damn girl. Family Size much?
Can I see your fruity pebbles?
I’m so glad you come in several flavors.
Can I play the game on your back with my little brother?
If I’m not careful, you sometimes cut up the roof of my mouth.
I want you inside me.